some knowledge

ceramah: Islam dan Kesukarelaan (Islam and Altruism)

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 15:07:36 GMT

saturday, dr danial bin zainal abiddin, mjd darul ghufran

nabi muhammad s.a.w. telah bersabda yang di akhir zaman akan banyak huru-hara. ramai yang akan terbunuh. gempa bumi akan lebih kerap berlaku. researchers have coined the 20th century as the century of war. the war in Bosnia, the war in Iraq, the war in Palestine, etc. thousands of people have died, thousands more are suffering. there are also more occurrences of earthquakes. thus leading to more loss of lives. ini lah tanda2 hari qiamat semakin hampir.

islam mengajar kita budaya rahmah. rahmah membawa erti kata belas kasihan (rahmah can be translated as pity, compassion, human understanding, sympathy, kindness and mercy). "nabi s.a.w. telah diutus sebagai rahmat bagi seluruh alam" (al-anbiya':107). prophet muhammad s.a.w. teaches us to show kindness to everyone (both muslim and non-muslim) and everything (even animals). for example, in islam, we have to slaughter an animal before it can be consumed. why do we slaughter by cutting off its jugular veins, windpipe and foodtract (for more info about the steps to slaughtering in accordance to islam, go to http://www.rbkc.gov.uk/EnvironmentalServices/FoodHygieneandStandards/halaal3.asp) using a very sharp knife? it's because 1. when the knife is very sharp, the animal will not feel the pain of being cut (just like when you get a paper cut. you don't realize that you've been cut, until much later), 2. when the windpipe is cut off, oxygen cannot flow in, 3. when the jugular veins are cut off, the blood carrying oxygen cannot flow to the brain. if the brain does not receive oxygen, it will cease to function and thus the animal will not feel pain. thus, even through slaughtering, we are taught to show compassion to the animal. islam also teaches us to respect other people's belongings (whether they belong to a muslim or a non-muslim) and to keep a good relationship with Allah and our fellow mankind.

islam provides us with a lot of opportunities to practice altruism. at the start of the day, islam teaches us to think of ways to perform the sedekah. sedekah boleh dilakukan dengan berbagai cara. 1. dengan mulut: mengucapkan Assalamualaikum pada sesama umat islam, memberi nasihat/kata2 perangsang, 2. dengan tenaga: menolong seseorang mengangkat barang, 3. dengan setiap langkah ke tempat solat, 4. dengan menjauhkan bahaya dari laluan: mengangkat sampah yang ada di tengah2 jalan. kita digalakkan memupuk sikap kesukarelaan kerana sesiapa yang menolong orang lain, Allah akan menolong kita. sesiapa yang meringankan beban orang lain, Allah akan meringankan beban kita.

konsep kesukarelaan ada 2 prinsip: 1. ikhlas (niat kerana Allah) dan 2. muhsin (ikut cara yang betul). don't be like robin hood. he robs from the rich to give to the poor. him wanting to help the poor is good but the way he gets his means is wrong. robbing is wrong no matter if it is taken from the rich. the end doesn't justify the means. in altruism, we must have both ikhlas and muhsin.

scientists have found that people who perform acts of altruism have a more positive mental health. through acts of altruism, they get a euphoria that decreases the output of stress hormones. their cardiovascular health also increases and their immune system strengthens.

ceramah: Duit... Duit... Dimana kau duit?

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 10:29:17 GMT

sunday, ustaz jamaluddin abdul wahab, mjd darul ghufran

kenapa kita pergi kerja? sebab kita nak cari duit.
kenapa kita cari duit dan kenapa kadang kala duit yang kita dapat tu macam tak cukup je? sebabnya mungkin duit yg kita dapat tu tak berkat.

untuk mendapat keberkatan pada duit yang kita perolehi, ingat dan lakukanlah perkara2 berikut:
- bangun sebelum subuh. sebelum azan subuh, jika boleh, bangun awal dan lakukan solat sunat dua raka'at. lepas solat subuh pula jangan kembali tidur. kerana di waktu itu, malaikat akan membahagi2kan rezeki. rugilah kita jika kita tidur di waktu itu.
- solat dhuha. solat dhuha itu dilakukan pada satu pertiga pagi. (go to http://permai1.tripod.com/dhuha.html for the do'a).
- elakkan pembaziran. jangan membazir kerana membazir itu adalah sifat syaitan. jika pakaian kita masih elok lagi, walaupun dah lama, janganlah dibuang. ajar anak2 kita untuk tidak membazir. beg sekolah yang lama kalau masih baik, jangan lah diganti dengan yang baru.
- elakkan hutang. usah ikut pepatah "biar pape asalkan bergaya". orang yang berhutang itu tak kan pernah bebas. orang yang tiada hutang akan berkat hidupnya.
- banyak memberi. berilah sedekah walau sedikit. orang yang memberi itu lebih baik dari orang yang terima. Allah s.w.t. juga telah berjanji, tak kan berkurangan rezeki sesiapa yang memberi. bahkan kerana seseorang itu bersedekah, duitnya itu akan lebih berkat.

berikut pula formula untuk mencari duit:
doa + usaha + ilmu + tawakkal = duit
- doa. jangan putus dari berdoa pada Allah kerana doa itu adalah talian perhubungan kita pada Allah. Allah juga tak akan persiakan doa hambanya. Allah sentiasa dengar setiap doa dari hamba2nya.
- usaha. berdoa tanpa usaha seperti menuang air di daun keladi... sia2 saje. kita mesti lakukan kedua2nya skali. usaha itu penting. kita mestilah cari kerja, pergi kerja, baru boleh dapat duit. tak kan duit jatuh dari langit begitu sahaja.
- ilmu. untuk mencari duit, kita mesti ada ilmu. dengan ilmu, kita boleh membuat kerja kita dengan betul.
- tawakkal. kita mesti dengan sebulat hati tawakkal pada ilahi. berserah padaNya. bersyukur dengan pemberianNya. jika kita dapat rezeki yang sedikit, ucapkanlah Alhamdulillah. jika kita dapat rezeki yang banyak pula, jangan kita bongkak dan bangga. kita harus tetap bersyukur.

ceramah: Prophet Muhammad's love for his umat

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 07:09:15 GMT

friday nite, ustzh nurhairiah, mjd darul ghufran

the prophet muhammad (s.a.w) love his umat from the day he was made a prophet till the day he drew his last breath. he was sent to us to save us from the hell fire. however, there are many among us that choose to throw ourselves into the hell fire. for that, the prophet cries.

when he heard a sahabat recite surah an-nisa' (sentence 43), the prophet (s.a.w) cried so hard that the sahabat wondered why. when asked, the prophet told him that he is going to be made a witness against his umat (who has sinned) and cause them to be put in hell. if it was up to him, he would want every single one of his umat to enter heaven with him. but it is God's will that those who do not repent for the sins that they commit are put in hell as punishment for their wrongdoings.

the prophet (s.a.w) always doa' for his umat to be forgiven. each time after his prayers, he will be heard to doa' for his umat instead of for himself n his family. he also mentioned that those umat that has never met him are regarded as his relatives. those umat that has seen him, are known as his sahabat.

on his deathbed, the prophet (s.a.w) asked the deathangel where the angel Gabriel was. he asked of Gabriel what was instore after his death. when Gabriel answered that all doors to heaven were open for him, he didn't smile. Gabriel asked why he did not rejoice in the good news. the prophet (s.a.w) said that he wanted to know what was instore for his umat after his death. Gabriel answered that no other being can enter heaven before all of Muhammad's umat is in it. only then did the prophet (s.a.w) smile.

as he faced sakaratul maut, he exclaimed from the pain. then he said a doa' so that all the pain that his umat might face during sakartul maut be given to him. eventhough, he was already in a lot of pain himself, he still thought to lighten the burden of his umat by wanting to shoulder them all himself. however, Allah did not perkenankan his doa. so instead, he left a verbal will to sayidina Ali (r.a), "jagalah solat & peliharalah orang2 yang lemah."

these are a few of many examples that shows the great love that the prophet Muhammad has for his umat... not only those who were there during his time, but also those who are Islam now and in times to come.

tafsir: al-baqarah [2:1-5]

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:23:46 GMT

friday nite, ustzh kamariah, mjd darul ghufran

terjemahan bagi ayat 1-5 dalam surah al-baqarah (lembu betina):
"Alif laam miim (hanya Allah yang tahu maknanya). Kitab ini tidak ada keraguan padanya, petunjuk bagi mereka yang bertaqwa, mereka yang beriman kepada yang ghaib, yang mendirikan shalat, dan menafkahkan sebahgian rezki yang Kami anugerahkan kepada mereka, dan mereka yang beriman kepada Kitab yang telah diturunkan kepadamu dan Kitab-Kitab yang telah diturunkan sebelummu, serta mereka yakin adanya akhirat. Mereka itulah yang tetap mendapat petunjuk dari Tuhan mereka, dan merekalah orang-orang yang beruntung."

dari lima ayat pertama dalam surah al-baqarah, Allah menyatakan bahawa orang yang beriman tak meragui apa yang terkandung dalam Al-Quran. segala isi kandungan Quran itu adalah benar. Quran itu petunjuk bagi orang2 yang beriman. Mereka akan berpegang teguh pada kandungan Al-Quran. sebaliknya, orang yang fasiq meragui hukum-hakam yang ada dalam Al-Quran. Ada sesetengah orang yang berilmu tapi tak percaya pada cerita nabi isa a.s. yang ada dalam Al-Quran. di mana nabi isa a.s. diangkat ke langit dan seorang yang lain dinampakkan mirip rupa nabi isa a.s. dan orang itu lah yang telah disalib oleh orang2 nasrani.

beriman pada yang ghaib membawa maksud beriman pada perkara2 yang tak dapat dilihat dengan mata. seperti dalam rukun iman. percaya pada Allah s.w.t. percaya pada malaikat Allah. percaya pada qada' dan kadar. itu semua tak dapat kita lihat tapi kita tetap percaya.

mendirikan solat itu penting kerana ia adalah tali hubungan kita dengan Allah s.w.t. mereka yang menjaga solat akan mendapat kesenangan dan ketenangan. sebaliknya, mereka yang sering meninggalkan solat, tak akan mencapai kejayaan. walaupun orang itu kaya raya, jika dia tidak mengerjakan solat, kekayaan yang diperolehinya itu bukan lah satu nikmat. bahkan, ia satu azab. orang itu tidak akan bahagia walaupun dia kaya (eg. elvis presley, marilyn monroe and many other super stars who are rich. in the end, they commit suicide or die due to usage of drugs).

mengeluarkan zakat itu wajib jika cukup jumlahnya dan masanya. zakat harta itu harus dikeluarkan setiap tahun. dengan mengeluarkan zakat, kita membantu orang yang kurang kemampuan.

kita juga diwajibkan percaya kepada kitab Allah (Al-Quran) serta kitab-kitab yang sebelumnya (taurat, injil, zabur). kitab zabur, taurat dan injil yang asli tiada lagi di zaman ini. orang-orang nasrani kini menggunakan injil yang ditulis oleh paderi besar mereka (diantaranya ialah St Paul yang asalnya orang yahudi). orang-orang yahudi pula menggunakan kitab thalmut dan bukan lagi kitab taurat. jadi mereka sudah tidak mengikut ajaran nabi-nabi mereka serta kitab-kitab yang dibawa mereka.

orang yang beriman juga yakin dengan adanya akhirat. mereka tak akan meremehkan hukum Allah s.w.t. mereka yang beriman akan menjaga aurat mereka, cara pergaulan mereka dan sebagainya. kerana di akhirat kelak, semuanya akan dihitung oleh Allah.

munakahad: ihddah

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:06:37 GMT

friday nite, ustzh kamariah, mjd darul ghufran

ihddah atau edah membawa maksud, dari segi bahasa, menghitung sesuatu. maksudnya dari segi hukum syarak pula ialah penantian seorang perempuan untuk menentukan kandungan rahimnya (sama ada mengandung atau tidak) supaya dapat dinasabkan (di 'bin/binte' kan) dengan betul. juga waktu berkabung seorang perempuan yang kematian suaminya.

ihddah wanita yang bercerai hidup (yang dah bersatu dengan suaminya dan perempuan itu masih didatangi haidh) ialah 3 kuruq. ada khilaf ulama' pada maksud kuruq. roughly about 3 times suci dari haidh. tetapi kadi berkuasa untuk menentukan tempuh ihddah perempuan itu (coz some people their mense cycle is rather erratic).

dalam waktu ihddah itu, seorang perempuan itu masih tetap digelar isteri. dia wajib minta izin suami jika hendak pergi ke mana2. walaupun perempuan itu ingin mengerjakan umrah/haji, jika tak dibenarkan oleh suami, dia tak boleh pergi. BERDOSA jika dia nekad untuk pergi juga. suami pula wajib memberi nafkah dan tempat tinggal pada isteri itu. bezanya ialah, mereka tidak boleh bersatu.

suami boleh merujuk isteri dalam waktu ihddah (untuk talaq 1 & 2) dengan melafazkan rujuk dihadapan dua saksi. mereka boleh hidup semula sebagai suami isteri tanpa nikah baru. isteri tidak berhak untuk menolak rujukkan suami. tetapi jika suami itu menganyayai isteri (dengan pukul bantai atau tak memberi nafkah), isteri boleh mengadu pada mahkamah dan memberikan alasannya untuk menolak rujukkan suami dihadapan kadi. kadi akan mempertimbangkan kes itu dan kadi berhak untuk menolak atau menerima rujukkan suami pada isteri itu.

it is important that after talaq dijatuhkan or rujuk dilafazkan dihadapan 2 saksi, the party involved (either husband or wife or together) immediately make a report to mahkamah syariah. this is so that there will be a black n white record of the talaq/rujuk. there has been cases that a couple bercerai talaq 1. they reported the cerai to mahkamah . mahkamah gave them a date to return to the mahkamah (this date is the date that their divorce papers are officially released). after a few days, they rujuk but they did not immediately report to mahkamah. they waited till the day before the given date to tell the kadi that they've already rujuk. their rujuk is not acknowledged n they have to nikah baru. they thought that the date given was the last day of ihddah.

to be continued

ceramah: Siti Khadijah as our role model

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 14:55:48 GMT

friday nite, ustzh nurhairiah, mjd darul ghufran

Who is Siti Khadijah?
she is nabi muhammad's (s.a.w) first wife.

Her background:
berketurunan bangsawan kaum quraisy. pd umur 40 tahun, beliau sudah menjadi janda dua kali. setelah itu, beliau menutup pintu hatinya dan concentrate on expanding her business. she was an excellent business woman with a good reputation and her name was well known.

Her traits/characteristics that we shd model after:
- walaupun khadijah seorg janda yg cantik n kaya, dia tidak menggunakan kecantikkan n kekayaannya utk menggoda lelaki. beliau tetap menjaga diri n maruahnya
- walaupun ramai lelaki yg ingin menjadikan dia sebagai isteri, beliau tetap teguh dgn pendirian sendiri kerana tidak mahu dikahwini hanya demi hartanya yg banyak.
- tertarik pd muhammad (s.a.w) bukan kerana ketampanannya atau hartanya atau umurnya yg muda (nabi muhammad 15 tahun lebih muda dari siti khadijah) tetapi pada kejujuran muhammad (s.a.w). setiap kali muhammad (s.a.w) menguruskan perniagaannya, beliau akan membawa balik untung yg berlipat ganda pdhal pemuda2 lain yg juga menguruskan perniagaannya tidak pernah membawa balik untung yg sebegitu.
- walaupun telah berputik rasa cinta terhadap muhammad (s.a.w), beliau tidak meluahkan isi hatinya pd muhammad (s.a.w). malah segan utk bertemu dgnnya. she only see him with regards to the business. (not like girls nowadays, tanpa segan silu boleh sound steady to guys). instead she tells her bestfriend, nafisah, abt how she felt. (thus we shd always have at least one bestfriend to confide in) her intention of telling nafisah was not so that nafisah will tell muhammad (s.a.w), instead she just wanted to pour out her feelings n be relieved of it.
- upon their marriage, she gives all her possessions to muhammad (s.a.w) to handle as he deem fit. (this is the opposite of most of us. to us "harta kita, kita punya n harta suami pun kita punya")
- she understands her husband's need to spend time alone by himself at gua hiraq. she did not question his actions but trusts him n carries out her duties as a mother n wife.
- she provides him with comfort n a sense of security when he came home late one night (setelah didatangi malaikat jibrail di gua hiraq) banging the door, looking pale n shivering with fright. she only questioned him gently after he has calmed down. (if this were to happen to us, we wld probably have been agitated at our husband for waking us up in the middle of the nite n making such a ruckus outside the front door. anyway, there is no sense in asking a frightened person any questions as you won't get any answer from them. so learn to be patient, kind n tolerant like khadijah)
- she sticks with her husband through thick n thin. she always gives him the encouragements he needs to carry out his work as a prophet.
- she's willing to part with her wealth. setelah nabi muhammad (s.a.w) mendapat wahyu yg pertama n diperintahkan utk menyebarkan islam, hidup mereka bertukar daripada kaya menjadi miskin. yet, she still stays by his side n lend him her strength when it's needed.
- she raised her 4 daughters to be as modest n pure as she was. walaupun wanita pd zaman itu sering diperalatkan utk melepaskan nafsu lelaki (since the morals of society then was low), anak2 siti khadijah n muhammad (s.a.w) tetap menjaga maruah n kesucian mereka. mereka juga berakhlak mulia n lembut tutur kata serta bersemangat kental demi menegakkan ajaran islam. (so there is no reason for us to blame society if our chn succumb to the evils of society. reflect whether we have taught them enough to take care of themselves n not be easily pulled by peer pressure, following of trends n society as a whole)
- walaupun jasad beliau sudah lama hilang setelah kewafatan beliau, namun semangat beliau tetap hidup. her spirit, her strength n her every word lives on in the ppl who loves her. eventhough she did not leave much harta (material wealth), she left something much more valuable: she's being remembered as one of the greatest women in history.

ceramah: Our role as a woman

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 11:38:22 GMT

friday nite, ustzh nurhairiah, mjd darul ghufran

(continued fr here)

everyone dreams of a happy family. everyone wants to make a home that is a heaven on earth. there are several factors that makes ppl happy.
- happiness derived fr material factors: ppl always perceive that if they have more money or status, they will be happy.
- happiness derived fr physical factors: some ppl will be happy when they are strong, pretty or healthy.
- happiness derived fr internal factors: this is the source of true happiness. having a strong will, courage and good heart, will ensure happiness though we're faced with all kinds of trials.

sabda rasul (s.a.w), "isteri yg baik, kediaman yg baik dan kenderaan yg baik akan menjadikan manusia damai dalam menjalani kehidupan."
the first two factors refer to the responsibilities of a woman (i.e. wife). wanita yg pandai menjaga kehormatannya serta rumahtangganya dgn baik akan membuat ahli keluarganya merasakan tenang bila berada di dlm rumahnya. ahli keluarganya juga akan dpt merasakan kasih sayang dlm rumahtangga. maka terasa lah rumah itu bagaikan syurga.

untuk mendapatkan rumahku, syurgaku, kita harus menjaga aspek2 berikut:
- ada cinta dlm diri kita, suami dan anak2 serta ada cinta pd Allah. cinta antara ahli keluarga akan menimbulkan rasa percaya antara satu sama lain dan sama2 dpt mengharungi kesenangan n kesusahan hidup. cinta pd Allah akan membuat kita redha dgn apa yg berlaku serta bersyukur dgn apa yg kita ada.
- senyum dan riang selalu. senyuman itu satu sedekah. dgn senyuman juga kita akan merasa lebih tenang dan bahgia. it's hard to be angry when you smile and it's hard to be angry with someone who's smiling. furthermore, it takes less muscles to smile than to frown.
- ada berbincang dan berkomunikasi. berbincanglah tentang semua perkara yg merangkumi hidup rumahtangga. don't miss out on any opportunity to talk to your spouse. (why is it that when a couple is dating/juz married, they will talk while in the car but if they've gone through yrs of marriage, they will hardly talk. instead the wife will look out the window n the husband will look at the road in front.) communication is impt so that both of you will be one voice in the disciplining of the chd (no bad cop, good cop kinda thing coz then the chd will know who to manipulate to suit his need).
- aktif dlm aktiviti bersama keluarga. meluangkan masa berkualiti bersama ahli keluarga akan mengeratkan silaturrahmi antara ahli keluarga.
- memahami pentingnya persahabatan. dun restrict ur family members fr making friends, hanging out with or contacting their friends. everyone needs friends. try to get to know a little about their friends so that u'll understd them better.
- ada satu wawasan. impian suami n impian isteri harus sama. if not the same, then have to meet half way n work towards the same goal (therefore must discuss with each other).
- aspek kerjasama. takde manusia yg boleh buat semua kerja dgn sendirinya. saling bantu membantu supaya takde yg merungut/ tak senang hati at the end of the day.
- sesuaikan diri kita. takle jadi org yg berat sebelah. jgn ashik menitik beratkan tentang mak ayah kamu tapi tak peduli pd mertua kamu. kena menyesuaikan diri dgn cara suami kita dibesarkan.
- saling berkongsi perasaan. don't lash out on ur family members (esp d kids) when u r in a bad mood. tell them that u r n a bad mood, so tat they'll understd ur behaviour (n most probably won't add to ur problems).
- tahan rasa marah n kurangkan leteran. rasa marah itu kawan pd syaitan. apabila kita marah, syaitan senang utk mencengkam hati kita. bila terasa marah, jika kita sdg berdiri, maka duduklah. jika sdg duduk, maka baringlah. jika masih tidak reda, maka ambil wudhu' n kerjakan solat.

masukkan dlm hati kita perkara2 berikut:
- saya ingin menjadi wanita syurga
- saya ingin menjadi isteri yg solehah (yg membuat suami rasa tenang apabila berada di rumah)
- saya ingin menjadi ibu yg mithali (yg membuat anak senang duduk di rumah)

ceramah: Our role as a woman

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 12:09:41 GMT

thursday nite, ustzh nurhairiah, mjd darul ghufran

(continued fr here)

gelaran 'ibu' menjadikan seorg wanita itu merasa sempurna. seblum dia digelar 'ibu', ada satu kekosongan di dalam dirinya. seorg ibu adalah seorg teman, pengawas n pengasuh bagi anak2nya. ibu itu ibarat madrasah. dia lah guru pertama yg mengajar anak itu. didikan dari seorg ibu bermula ketika anak itu dalam rahim ibunya. anak itu boleh merasakan rangsangan/didikan seorg ibu sewaktu dia dlm rahim ibunya.

seorg ibu yg solehah akan cuba utk membuat yg berikut dlm mendidik anak2nya:
- menjadi penyelamat generasi akan datang. melahirkan anak2 yg dpt mempraktikkan al-Quran (coz kids/youths nowadays dun read the Quran n if this continues then nobody will know how to read the Quran or understand its meaning)
- mulakan pembentukan anak2 dgn CD2 al-Quran/selawat. biar anak2 ini rasa tenang bila mendgr ayat2 Allah. (nowadays, moms just put on Barney or Hi-5 CD to keep the chn quiet while moms goes abt doing the housework. so the chn learn to appreciate western songs but not ayat2 Allah. shd have a balance)
- mulakan pendidikan anak2 dgn mengenalkan mereka pd sifat2 nabi, sahabat2 rasul (s.a.w.) n srikandi2 Islam. (chn nowadays know who taufik baltisah or siti nurhaliza or rihanna is but not many know who saiyiddina ali or siti fatimah is)

according to psychologist, Erik Erikson, chn go thru several stages of developmt. if they do not successfully complete the stage, they will have problems in the later stages of developmt n these problems will affect their character n way of thinking. how is this similar or different fr what is taught in Islam?

Erik Erikson	Islamic teaching
0-1yrs: trust vs mistrust the chd learns to gain trust fr others (esp d parents). failure to do so, will make the chd mistrust others (i.e. takut org n ashik nangis je kalau org yg dia tak kenal mendekatinya)	0-7yrs: beri kelongaran kpd anak itu utk buat apa yg dia hendak (within batas2 yg tertentu).
1-3yrs: autonomy vs doubt the chd learns to do things by himself (feed himself, open n close drawers, etc). having too many setbacks/being chided everytime he does so will make him doubt his ability.	anak itu belum baligh, jadi jgn lah dimarahi jika dia membuka tudung yg mula2nya dia hendak pakai.
3-6yrs: initiative vs guilt the chd learns to help adults with things n take on some form of responsibility. the adults response will teach the chd the limits of what he can do without feeling guilty abt doing d task.	you can even let the child wear spaghetti straps or bareback dress/tops coz blum ada hukum atas anak itu (but not everyday lah, nanti terbiasa plak)
6-12yrs: industry vs inferiority the chd learns to do a task n follow thru till completion. he learns the satisfaction of completing a task. inability to complete tasks will lead to feelings of inferiority if not given encouragemt by adults.	7-14yrs: beri didikan yg baik. tell them abt the Do's n Don'ts in Islam. explain to them the rationale behind hukum halal n haram. this is so that they know why they are not allowed to
13-18yrs: identity vs role confusion the chd learns to find his place in society. failure to do so will lead to confusion.	do certain things. punish them (but not causing hurt) if they dun follow hukum n explain why they r being punished.
19-40yrs: intimacy vs isolation serious r/s with another gender (ie love) dominates this stage. failure to find a partner might lead to isolating oneself from society/social functions.	14-21yrs: beri mereka bantuan bila perlu n tempat utk mengadu. we always think that they are big enough n independent n can think for
40-65yrs: generativity vs stagnation parenting/educating the future generation dominates this stage. if we haven't dealt with our prev problems, we'll b stagnant on not have anything to reflect back on.	themselves. but they still need to be guided. they need to know that they can count on their parents as they go through physical, hormonal n emotional changes. if parents are not the
65-death: integrity vs despair we reflect on our lives n retell them to our grandchn (if any). we feel that we're ready to accept death. otherwise, we'll feel despair n have regrets abt death being so near.	first to be there for them, then they will turn to friends (who r just as confused as they are n may not give sound advise). so we can't really blame it on peer pressure if things go wrong with our chn.

peranan ibu (atau ayah) tak berakhir bila anak itu mencecah usia 21. ia juga tidak berakhir bila anak itu mendirikan rumah tangga. peranan ibu berterusan hingga ke akhir hayatnya.

to be continued (click here for continuation)

ceramah: Our role as a woman

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 01:06:42 GMT

friday nite, ustzh nurhairiah, mjd darul ghufran

(continued fr here)

the traits of women who gets to enter heaven:
- possess taqwa: beriman pd Allah n rasul serta beriman pd rukun2 iman yg lain n mengerjakan rukun2 Islam
- possess ihsan: always know n aware that Allah is watching what ever we do. thus dun only do good in front of ppl n nvr ever do a misdeed
- mempunyai sifat ikhlas: membantu tanpa meminta apa2 balasan (not even to donate n hope for balasan di syurga)
- consistent in reciting the al-quran: reads the Quran everday n try to understand its meaning. if we read at 3 sentences per day, we can finish reading the Quran in a year)
- menghidupkan amal ma'ruf nahi mungkar: to do good deeds n avoid misdeeds. a young child will observe n imitate the characteristics n temperament of the parents (if the parents always quarrel, they will grow up to be quarrelling parents themselves)
- always act graciously towards others: esp towards your family members (incl PiLs, SiLs, BiLs)
- menyambung tali persaudaraan dgn org yg memutuskannya: dgn membuat baik terhadap mereka (kerana dgn kebaikan kita, mereka mungkin akan tertawan n berlembut hati pd kita)

nabi muhammad (s.a.w.) said 'nikah itu sunah ku' n 'rugilah hidup lelaki it jika salah memilih wanita utk dijadikan isteri'. it is thus advisable to seek the right woman to be one's wife. wanita harus dipilih atas 4 perkara - harta, kecantikan, keturunan n agama, with agama being the most impt.
agama: akan menjamin kesejahteraan rumah tangga kerna tahu hukum agama
keturunan: ibu n bapa yg baik biasanya akan mendidik anak2 nya menjadi org yg baik
kecantikan: benda yg cantik membuat hati tertawan n senang mata memandang. tapi kecantikan juga mungkin membawa keburukan
harta: harta mungkin membuat wanita itu angkuh n tak hormat pd suaminya kerna dia fikir yg dia bleh support diri sendiri

perkara2 berikut mungkin memasukkan kita kedlm golongan isteri derhaka:
- isteri yg tak bersyukur dgn kebaikan suami: walaupun suami kita tolong kita buat keja rumah atau beli barang2 dapur, kita tidak berterima kasih kerna dia buat kerja tak sekemas / seelok kita.
- isteri yg suka menyakiti hati suami: membandingkan diri suami dgn org lain (even if it's with an actor)
- isteri yg kluar rumah tanpa izin suami: wanita itu akan di laknat oleh malaikat serta makhluk2 yg ada di muka bumi ini
- isteri yg meminta cerai tanpa sebab: wanita skrang kalau bertengkar suka mencabar suami utk menceraikannya. wanita ini tak akan dpt bau syurga pun
- isteri yg tak melayan kehendak suaminya: tangungjawab seorg isteri adalah memenuhi kehendak suaminya (as long as it doesnt go agnst perintah Allah)

the following traits are undesirable n men find them as turn offs:
- cabar: lelaki pantang dicabar. thus, jgn jadi wanita yg suka mencabar org. (eg. bila gaduh je ckp something like, "kalau berani, cubalah" or "kalau dah gatal sangat, kahwin lagi lah"
- cabul: bila ckp sesuatu, sedap mulut saje i.e. mulut laser
- cemburu: walaupun cemburu itu tandanya sayang, tapi kalau cemburu yg berlebihan amat merimaskan.
- cerewet: suami dah belikan baju/barang/makanan tapi kita tak suka n start to belittle his gift. tak syukur dgn pemberian suami.
- celupar: kerana mulut, badan binasa. wanita yg mulutnya celupar, akan membuat suami jauh hati.
- comot: as opposed to cantik. dulu bila waktu dating atau baru2 nikah, jaga wajah n pakaian. skrang di rumah pakai asal boleh je (eg. hari2 pakai baju butterfly)
- cincai: buat kerja rumah asal boleh je. cara didik anak pun tak sempurna.
- cuai: lupa akan routine yg dilakukan waktu baru nikah/waktu anak2 masih kecil (eg. makan mlm sama2, salam suami bila dia nak kluar berkerja)

to be continued (click here for continuation)

ceramah: Our role as a woman

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 02:41:29 GMT

thursday nite, ustzh nurhairiah, mjd darul ghufran

before the coming of Islam, kaum wanita di pandang hina di mata masyarakat.
- agama hindu: the sole purpose of woman's existence is for her husband. it is to such an extent that when the husband dies, the wife have to be burnt together with him as well.
- agama yahudi (jews): wanita hanya seorg pelayan utk melayan nafsu dan kerenah laki2. seorang isteri, anak perempuan atau adik perempuan boleh di jual beli dgn harga semurah2nya.
- agama nasrani (christian): women are venomous. they seduce and coerce men to commit sins.
- kaum arab jahiliah: wanita itu memalukan dan tiada nilai sehinggakan anak perempuan pun sanggup ditanam hidup2.
- kaum parsi: wanita itu adalah alat yang boleh dinikahi oleh sesiapa pun. the husband may give her to a friend. if the husband dies, the son or grandson may remarry the widow.
- kaum yunani: wanita di pandang sebagai satu kekotoran yang jijik.

when nabi muhammad (s.a.w.) came, he raised the status of women. he even said "syurga itu di bawah tapak kaki ibu". by this, he means that keredhaan seorg anak itu terletak pada ibunya. jika ibu itu tak redha, maka tak senanglah kehidupan anak itu. the words that come out of a mother's mouth is a form of do'a.
when asked, "who shd be respected?" nabi (s.a.w.) answered, "mother". they asked 3 times and the answer is still "mother". only on the 4th time did he answer, "father". therefore he has raised the importance of women. a mother has to be respected 3 times as much as a father coz a mother is the one who carves the future of her chn. a good mother will raise good chn.

Allah made women with shoulders that are strong. cukup kuat utk menumpang dunia. yet, these same shoulders are also made to provide comfort. women are given d strength to carry another life in their womb for 9 mths n bear the pain of labour. they are given the ability to raise a child w/o lamenting. they are also given the strength to support the husband and at the same time filled with enough care and love to soften his heart n provide him a haven. Allah menjadikan wanita pertama dari tulang rusuk nabi adam (a.s.), yg dekat dengan hatinya utk dicintai dan dkt dengan lengannya utk dilindungi. bukan dari kepalanya utk dijunjung, dan bukan juga dari kakinya utk dipijak2 atau dijadikan pengalas. Terciptanya seseorg dari tulang rusuk juga menunjukkan betapa pentingnya wanita kerana tanpa tulang rusuk, kita tak boleh bergerak (kalau takde kaki, masih bleh gerak kai tangan). Allah gave women tears to be used as and when she needs to. it is a form of stress reliever to balance off the strength she gets in facing the trials of the world.

the following women are promised an afterlife in hell (thus do not follow their misdeeds / behaviour):
- the wife of nabi noh (a.s.): she didn't obey nabi noh (a.s.) who wanted her to get into the boat with him.
- the wife of nabi lut (a.s.): she instigated others and opposed the teachings of nabi lut (a.s.).
- hindon: she kept a deep hatred towards Islam and even hired an assasinator to kill saiyidina hamzah (r.a.). after saiyidina hamzah had been killed she mutilated the body by cutting up his chest and taking out his heart. she even bit the heart and chewed it before spitting it out.

the following women are promised an afterlife in heaven (as such, we shd make them our role model):
- siti khadijah (r.a.): she's nabi muhammad's 1st wife. she sacrificed her wealth in the name of Islam and supported him in his quest to spread the word of Allah. She also raised chn in the way of Islam.
- siti fatimah (r.a.): she's nabi muhammad's beloved daughter. dia mempunyai budi pekerti yang baik. dia juga menyayangi suaminya (saiyidina ali) yang tidak mempunyai apa2 harta. instead, he has a wealth of knowledge and knows how to treat a woman with respect and shower her with love. she also carried out her responsibilities without complaints. after the death of nabi's wife, she helped her dad clean the house n cook for him. on top of that, she did not neglect her responsibilities as saiyidina ali's wife n saiyidiana hassan's mother.
- siti aisyah: she's nabi muhammad's most romantic wife. she always makes nabi muhammad smile and laugh. he finds peace and tranquility every time he is with her. like siti khadijah, she also supports nabi in all aspects. her existence is also to spread the word of Islam after the death of nabi muhammad s.a.w.
- siti hajar: she's the wife of nabi ibrahim (a.s.). dia patuh pada perintah Allah dan sanggup ditinggalkan suami di tengah2 padang pasir bersama anak kecilnya. beliau terasa amat risau dan berlari2 dari satu bukit ke satu bukit untuk mencari air untuk anaknya. (betapa bezanya dgn kita di zaman ini. walaupun anak kita sakit, si ibu tetap pergi ke kerja dan meninggalkan anak itu bersama nenek atau pembantu.)
- siti maryam: the mother of nabi isa (a.s.). beliau mengandung tanpa disentuh oleh seorg lelaki. dia kuat menahan herdikan dan hinaan masyarakat kerna mengandung tanpa suami. beliau sentiasa menjaga kehormataan dirinya walau byk ditohmah kerana keadaannya.
- siti asiah: wife of firaun. eventhough firaun (pharaoh) was an evil man who seeked to destroy nabi musa (a.s.) n the hebrews, siti asiah is faithful to Allah n helps protect nabi musa (a.s.) since he was a baby. at the same time, she did not shirk her responsibilities as a wife. she was sentenced to death by firaun himself.
- siti aminah: nabi muhammad's mom. dia mempunyai budi pekerti yg mulia. seorg ibu yg baik akan melahirkan anak yg baik.
- siti muti'ah: she will be the first woman to step into heaven. she put her responsibilities and respect towards her husband above all else. she seeked his permission before doing something (even something small like letting a small boy into the house) as she does not want to membelakangkan suami.

to be continued (click here for continuation)